 |
|
|
|
AdultDateFind.com article |
|
How To Motivate Yourself To Meet Women
Post date: 2005-07-05
Learn the top reasons why guys don?ft approach the women they want--and what YOU can do to turn around your success with women. - Based on the ebook "Any Woman, Anywhere..." by Kevin Bates
Question #1:
"i was in a nightclub and I saw a hot blonde chick. I approached her said hi what's your name. She replied Askeen and I told her my name. I told her that she was gorgeous. Tried to get her number but then her girlfriend grabbed her and said see ya later. Then they went on the dance floor. Askeen said she was in a relationship with her girlfriend and that it has been 6 years long. My bro said she was lying and that she wasn't interested in me. Where did i go wrong?
My Reply:
First of all, if you're talking to a girl in a club and she tells you she's in a "relationship" with her "girlfriend," most likely she is blowing you off.
She's telling you she's a lesbian so you'll GO AWAY.
Now, when this happens in a club, I want you to have one and only one thought in your mind:
NO BIG DEAL.
In that kind of environment, women are getting hit on left and right. And unless you have your game hittin' on all cylinders, you will find women that simply blow you off.
But again, just think:
NO BIG DEAL.
Dating is a numbers game, and no place is it more a number game that in a club. So when you get dissed, don't take it personally, DON'T try to figure out what happened. Instead, just move on to the next lucky woman.
What you'll find is that you'll go from one woman who didn't respond to you, to one who really does, even when you change NOTHING in your approach.
Now, if you talk to, say, 10 women, and each and every one of them blows you out of the game, THEN start asking yourself what you can change, and experiment with a new approach.
Oh, and just one more piece of advice:
It helps not to hit on LESBIANS.
Maybe that could be your opener:
"Excuse me, are you a lesbian?"
That's definitely something different. Lol...
=====
Success Story:
Hi,
Just thought I'd mention, whilst I haven't applied every single aspect of your book, what it really did do was make me think, and gave my confidence a boost.
I eventually did go up to a girl, something a year ago I wouldn't have even considered - I never approach women. She was in a cafe, she was gorgeous (I would traditionally have thought her "above me"), and we had an exchange of smiles. Some of the words in your book echoed in my head, and almost as if on autopilot I suddenly found myself standing by her table, offering to buy her a coffee sometime.
To my amazement she enthusiastically accepted, and actually offered me her number - I didn't even have to ask. We've dated a few times now, and its progressing very nicely indeed. She's stunning, and I'm one lucky man (actually, no, she's one lucky girl :)).
I don't know exactly what part you played in it, but I definitely felt the need to thank you.
So, Thank you :)
-T.P.
My Reply:
Nice.
It's amazing how close to success most men are, if they only take a chance and say something, ANYTHING, to the women who interest them. And the part about the words from my book echoing in your head like on "autopilot" doesn't surprise me.
If you're ever hung out with buddies, and then you catch yourself saying the types of things they would say after they've left, and using words THEY would use, then you've experienced this type of thing.
In psychology they call it "Social Learning." Basically, humans are social creatures, and we're wired to very QUICKLY learn the cues of those around us to help us fit it with the group and survive.
This can help us (for example, hanging out with guys who are successful with women helps YOU automatically learn some of their skills).
Or it can hurt us (hanging out with guys who bring you down and come up with excuses why women suck (no pun intended)).
So sure, when you study any of my products enough, you'll find yourself AUTOMATICALLY doing at least some of the things I talk about.
How great is that?
=====
Question #2:
Hi Kevin,
I bought your e-book and I read it. I still can't overcome my fear with women. I know that women are attracted to me. But I can't make conversations with them. When I do, it is usually small talk that get's nowhere.
There is a girl in a department store that is hot. She is a 9. She seems to be attracted to me (by her body language). and I can small talk her, but cannot seem to get past that to getting her number.
I seem to be such a wuss. any help? I read and re-read your book. It is so tough to actually take the small steps you outlined. I am in a kind of inertia or 'wuss'dom. anything to jumpstart and get over this?
-G.
My Reply:
Yeah, I'll help you. If the girl you're talking about works in Orange County, California, just tell me the department store, and the department she works in, and her name, and I'll PERSONALLY go get her number for you (after I take "meet" with her a couple of times, that is).
Lol...
Seriously, here's something that I talk about in my book but you must have somehow missed:
When learning any skill, especially a complex one like picking up women, it helps to CHUNK THINGS DOWN. In other words, break up the complex skill into small parts that are easier to "digest."
If you had to eat an elephant, would you try to take it all down in one gulp, or would you bust out a fork and knife and slowly get to work, bite by bite?
So, one way you can "chunk down" the process of getting numbers like this is to slip in a compliment of her looks.
This "chunk" isn't so big and scary as actually asking for her number, yet it is much more than just having a friendly conversation.
It's PROGRESS.
Also, if she responds positively to your compliment, it'll give you a boost of motivation to go ahead and go for her number. And remember, if she says no, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Do you know how many times guys who are successful with women (myself included) hear the word no from women?
A lot!
You want to have more success with women starting immediately? Double, or even triple, your FAILURE RATE.
Seriously, if you were complimenting boatloads of women each week, asking this one girl at the department store wouldn't be that big of a deal. And guess what?
Odds are she probably has a boyfriend anyway. So relax, and start practicing. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
=====
Question #3:
Hi Kevin,
I have found that my most common excuse is, at its core, that I'm nervous asking girls out in front of people (usually that I know, people that I don't know aren't nearly as much of a problem) and I realised that most of the people that you coach probably have this problem as well.
I was wondering if there is a mind frame, trick, logical argument or plan that you use to disarm this excuse.
Thanks.
-J.S.
My Reply:
So, you're nervous asking girls out in front of people that you know. Why?
Is it because you're AFRAID that you'll get "shot down" in front of them, and feel embarrassed?
Is it because you're ASHAMED to do it, because the people you know will think you're a "bad" person or something?
If I'm with friends, and I see a woman I'd like to meet, and she is rude to me or "shoots" me down, do you think I care?
Think of it this way:
Regardless of your results, by you just walking up to the woman you're showing your friends that you have more balls than 90% of guys out there.
Seriously. You're a man who OWNS HIS SEXUALITY.
And that's a damn cool thing, in my book. Who do you respect more:
The guy who looks at chicks, or the guy who approaches them (even if he gets shut down a few times)?
And if you're trying to avoid your friends thinking you're a bad person or something:
DUDE, GET OVER IT.
As I've said a million times, there's nothing shameful in approaching women with class and respect. In fact, being able to express this sexual side of you freely is a big part of what I consider becoming a mature, masculine male.
But hey, if you don't want to start conversations with women in front of your friends, that's your call. It just means less competition for me!
Lol...
=====
Question #4:
I just found this girl I haven't talked to in a long time on myspace and I sent her a few emails emails or whatever. And one of them I told her how I felt about her, but you know I didn't say I love you, that would scare her away. So I told her I had a crush on her for a while, etc. And she didn't respond back or anything, I sent it like five days ago.
What do you think i should do here?
-O.M.
My Reply:
You did WHAT?
You told her "how you felt about her", and did this by email?
You told her you had a "crush" on her?
And you DIDN'T think that would scare her away?
Dude, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
Listen, first of all, remember to avoid being too clingy and too interested at the very beginning at all costs. One compliment, fine. But gushing your guts, or telling a chick you had a crush on her, that's a definite "negative rampart."
(Any guys reading this old enough to remember the t.v. show "Adam-12"? Didn't think so.)
Plus, compounding the problem is that you did all this by EMAIL.
Research has shown that only a SMALL fraction of the meaning that's conveyed in our communication comes from the actual WORDS we choose. Most of what gets across comes from our BODY LANGUAGE and VOICE TONE.
What this means is, if you were cool about it, you probably could have SAID exactly what you emailed her and it would have been fine, IF you were standing in front of her or at least were on the phone. But email just leaves WAY too much open for interpretation.
Next time, you're very first email should suggest to talk on the phone.
None of this "I sent a few emails or whatever."
Always transition from email to phone AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
On the bright side, hopefully this'll be the last time you have to learn this lesson.
But there's only about a gazillion women online, so you probably won't have another opportunity like this one, right?
Lol...
Get busy.
Oh, and by the way, if you want the FULL SCOOP of how to truly master not only the online pick-up game, but the entire "Success With Women" game, then you should check out my ebook "Any Woman, Anywhere."
In it you'll also find specifically what to say to the women you meet online when you talk with them either on the phone or face to face, so you come across as a mature guy who has his act together rather than a nervous wuss or a creep or a guy who's simply trying too hard.
You'll also learn how to motivate yourself to approach, what to do on dates to build attraction and have fun, how and when to move things to a physical level, and much more ...
It's fully guaranteed to help you or your money back, and if you have a credit card you can even try it without paying anything up front.
Bust down those walls today by taking some sort of new action. Here's where you should check out my eBook:
www.anywomananywhere.com
In the mean time, get out there, apply these ideas, and I'll speak to you again in a couple of days.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
